The White Flag

Even though there's a lot to tell, I'm pretty tired, so it'll probably come in bits and pieces over the next few days.

On Friday, several hours after my water broke, we finally headed to the hospital. We didn't go right away because I still wasn't having contractions, and we knew they would try really hard to speed things along. Also, I tested negative for Strep B, so I wasn't worried about infection, and I knew not to get in the tub after my water had broken.

We got to the hospital around 10:30. Still, no contractions, and I was still only "fingertip" dialated. They inserted a pill that was supposed to help soften my cervix so it would begin to dialate.

Patty showed up not too long after that. My contractions finally started, and we worked through them using our natural methods, like taking hot showers, rocking on a birth ball, walking the hallways, and hypnotherapy.

They checked me again several hours later, and I was only 3 cm. They started talking about Pitocin. I convinced them to let me wait a few hours later to dialate further on my own, because I knew Pitocin would basically wreck any real plan of having a natural pain management experience. At this time, I had already labored overnight and most of Saturday. At 6 pm, I was checked again, and still only gotten to 3 1/2 cm. I was told they really had to give the Pitocin since I wasn't progressing on my own. I was, of course, upset that things were not going the way I had wanted, so I did take a few more minutes to allow myself to be sad and cry a bit, because I saw this as the real point where things were going to turn.

After the Pitocin was given, I was also hooked up to a saline IV, which almost immediately made my hands and feet begin to swell. I could barely bend my fingers, they were so engorged with fluid. I continued to labor naturally for some time, and to be honest, I really have no clear idea how long it was. The contractions became much closer together and much more painful. The whole experience is now a really big blur. Patty told me that she thinks I labored naturally through about 3 hours on Pitocin.

Finally, I gave in and asked for epidural. Of course, the hospital was glad to comply, as they had now been waiting for me to deliver this child for more than 24 hours. The epidural really did help a lot, but it wasn't exactly heaven, either. Most people have heard that sometimes an epidural doesn't always "take" on both sides. Mine had a similar effect-it had what is referred to as a "window." There was only one part of my body that felt the complete, unrelieved pain. That happened to be my left butt cheek. I know, that sounds funny, but if you've ever had a charly horse in your calf, and then multiply it by 100, you'll know how I felt. The Pitocin was still on, so there was not really a break between contractions, and there was not really a way to relieve the pain. The staff told me to try to sleep, as there was nothing I could do until I was fully dialated, and then I would need all my energy to push.

I slept for a while, although I woke up every 2 or 3 minutes-with each new contraction. Finally, at around 5 am Sunday morning, they told me I was "10 plus" cm dialated, and that it was time to push. Patty tells me that I pushed for nearly 4 hours, although mainly what I remember is holding onto the railing of the bed yelling at her that it was impossible for the baby to come out that way.

And in reality, it turns out I was right. I was taken in for a C-section after approximately 40 hours of labor. By that time, I was so exhaused, both from the emotions and the physical work and the fact that I hadn't had solid food since Friday, that I actually fell asleep during the surgery.

Jensen Michael Cigala was born at 11:11 am on Sunday, October 14, weighing a whopping 11.1 pounds and measuring 38 cm. His big 'ol head, which wouldn't fit through my pelvis, has a circumfrence of 55.5 cm. And it is totally covered with the finest, most golden blonde hair. He looks like a surfer baby!

More on our adventure later, and pictures to come also.