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Friday, July 30, 2010

Roller coaster

Cannot fathom why (no, seriously) I have been having a truly difficult time pulling myself together today. I actually got to talk to Jenny in the morning, Michael agreed to go to mediation, I went shopping with a gift card, and a friend is bringing dinner over.

Still, have cried at least 3 times today, including once in the Kohl's where I was shopping.

After everything I have experienced, I am not so much of a crier anymore, so today was unbelievable.

And now that today is nearly over, I am looking forward to tomorrow, assuming it involves no crying!

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Momma bear

Well, I should've seen it coming, but Michael really pulled a fast one.

The morning I was supposed to leave, he had me served with family court papers saying that Jensen can't be taken out of NY. I am so upset and angry that I can barely see straight.

What really kills me is that he's not doing this because he loves Jensen, or wants Jensen, or even would miss Jensen. He's doing it because he feels like I'm his property and that by leaving, I'm essentially stealing from him.

I guess I'm back to square one when it comes to trying to get away from this jerk and having a better life.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Still working

Things are still moving, but it seems like every time I turn around there's a new snag or an added task.

Today my cousin Tiff was here to go into the city with me and helped with Jensen while I gave my presentation at Random House. I feel really good that it went over well and doing it was a lovely ending to my career as a NYC teacher. Tiff, Termite and I had a nice dinner where I was totally distracted looking at the guy at the table next to us, who happened to resemble someone I knew a long time ago. Well, Tiff and I ate. Jensen was completely asleep before we were even out of the cab, and he stayed that way through the entire meal. He woke up as we were waiting for my credit card to be returned to the table. Then we looked around a bit at a couple of stores before heading back to the house, where she's helped me sort some more things and get a bit more organized with the packing. She's even able to use some of the things I wasn't planning to move, so it makes less work for me here. I am so sad that she's leaving in the morning, but she's also got a busy second half of the week.

Michael is out of town until at least Friday night, maybe even until Saturday. So, it'll be just be me and the Termite until Friday afternoon when Conner comes in. In some ways that's good, because I won't have to be helping him or answering questions from him, but at the same time, there's no one here to distract Jensen, even for a few minutes. Packing over the next day and a half is going to be tough, and getting things actually mailed may be close to impossible. It is very hard to carry boxes into a post office with no parking lot. Still, I'm going to do the best I can so that Conner and I can have less stress when she's here.

It's already nearly 2:30 in the morning here, and I seriously don't know how I'm even going to stay awake tomorrow, much less get all of my work done. One thing at a time, I suppose. That's all I can do!

Really looking forward to having some closure here and opening a new chapter of my life.