Bits and pieces

Things are starting to come together.

I went to the hospital for another sonogram, to determine the size of the baby. It's interesting to me that they use this method as a way to make medical decisions before labor begins, since a sonogram can be up to a 1 1/2 lbs off in either direction. Anyway, as of today, the medically produced guess says Jensen is now 7 lbs, 3 oz. We will see.

Michael and I met again with our labor and delivery doula, as well as her backup and the owner of the agency, who was using the appointment to model how she'd like prenatal conferences done for her group. Our doula is an experienced professional, but new to the company. Everything was really straightforward, and at this point, it was just mainly her listing choices she suggested thinking about. As we went through the list, it seemed pretty clear that we'd already done that. Still, it's always good to be reminded of what our options are.

We had met them in the lobby of the hospital, so when we were ready for the sonogram, all we had to do was go upstairs. It just so happened that our OB had 2 patients go into labor today, so he actually said hello and took us on a personal tour of the labor and delivery center. Nothing flashy, but nice enough for a hospital. We are planning to stay at home as long as possible, so not having a cozy room at the maternity center isn't such a big deal. I just think now I will work a little harder to make sure that I take some things that really make me happy, like photos of my friends and my kitties, as well as my own clothes. We visited the 2 women laboring today as we sneaked a peak at their rooms (with their ok, of course) and I was really struck by how impersonal the partners were acting toward their wives. The women both had already had epidurals and were therefore confined to bed, but for the most part, the guys were just watching tv as their partners were dealing with labor. Since the pain was managed, the guys didn't seem to think they had a responsibility to do anything. I mean, talk to her, comfort her, play a game, hold her hand, something. Just because physical pain has dissipated doesn't mean she couldn't use some emotional soothing. I imagine that even without physical pain, labor has the distinct possibility of being emotionally challenging - it's such a life changing event! To go through it without my partner even talking to me because he's too busy watching tv, even though he's in the room with me seems really barbaric.

Michael may have his moments, but he's committed to being a birthing partner for this child. And if he turns out to be a dud, I've already told him if he won't be involved or useful, then he can go sit outside. I have no need for someone to sit quietly and just watch me do the work. If you're not involved, I honestly don't need an audience instead. Naturally, I'm planning ahead for this, and packing things that can be used as distractions from pain and keep Michael focused on me.

I'm so glad I got to see people actually going through this process. I realize my birth plan may not be perfect, or even if it was that it may not work out that way, but this also helped me solidify my ideas for what Michael's part should include to help me consider this a successful partnership experience. In that way, I can also now give him specific directives so that he feels like he is giving me what I need, when I need it, and he doesn't end up feeling like he has nothing to do.