One Year

Today is the one-year anniversary of my first date with Michael.

I am really happy because of a lot of things, and I have to say I am impressed that he's remembered and already said Happy Anniversary. (In fact, he said it last night at midnight...so sweet.)

He's mentioned that he has "plans," but honestly, I don't know where or when that will take place. I have a paper and presentation due tonight for my theatre class, and I won't even be getting home until around 10. We're trying to help each other not be so tired all the time and have discussed how more sleep would be great. With that in mind, we decided a few weeks ago to not go out after 10 on a night when we have to work the next morning. It kind of spoils things, at least for me, if I'm worrying how I'm going to function the next day after staying out late.

Either way, I am not stressing about it. I feel like I have a beautiful calm around me that started yesterday. Without going into it here, for those of you that know, let's just say that he's coming through on the the deal he and I made about the anniversary. He has committed to really start focusing on being a more involved part of the relationship, and, when I find a place I like, we'll be going to a couples counselor (probably a Christian retreat) and start working towards being an even better team. I have enough friends who have had relationship problems and if Michael and I continue down the path of staying together long-term, we both want our relationship to work as well as it possibly can.

Sunday Blues

Well, it's verrry late Sunday night and I am somewhat sad about having to go back to work tomorrow. What can I say? It's been a great, laid-back week and I did next to nothing.

Naturally, it's after midnight, and my desire to work has just picked up. Not so much for school, mind you, but to clean my apartment and try to organize so I can have my taxes done. Oh well, it's too bad I can't have this kind of motivation during the day, but I am hoping to take things in baby steps.

In the last few months, I have had not one, but two good friends call me up and exclaim, "I've got it! I know what your problem is! You're a hoarder!" Well, knowing that they were both well-meaning, and that they were both most likely right, I am attempting to cure myself.

In that attempt, I have researched my disease a little. If you click "visitors sent in" numbers 7, 26, 39, 41, 45, 55 all seem to apply to me. However, that was the first part that I really paid attention to. After exploring further, I actually am not a hoarder: I am able and (usually) willing to take out the trash. I do notbelieve that each and every thing has an intrinsic value and cannot, therefore, be thrown out. I DO believe that a good deal of my problem was inherited. Here is my mother in our kitchen:

In other attempts to figure out what to do, I focused on what one of the people who wrote in to the above site said: that although her mom was a hoarder, she has used routines to help control her temptations. So, I have found a site called Flylady.com and joined it. She focuses on small steps and routines to help make your home livable again. I have not actually started where she wants me to start, namely because as a teacher and a student, with taxes needing to be filed soon on both my and mom's estates, I felt it was most prudent to begin with my desk.

I have taken a chunk of my inheritance and paid off 2 of my 5 credit cards and will write the checks for the other ones tomorrow evening. That way I will know I will never need a past statement again and when I organize my papers, looking for tax info, etc, I can shred all of the ones that I'd saved because I'd felt guilty I couldn't pay them.

Next, I got onto freecycle.org and posted the extraneous equipement I have now due to my upgrades. I got several responses for my old fax machine, computer monitor and freebie printer. I am now just waiting to make appointments with the "winners" to come and collect their loot.

Yay, me! I really feel like I am on my way to having a much healthier existence!

Technology Goddess

So, I have been off the last few days and taken myself tech shopping.

I have now acquired:

1. An all in one printer, copier, scanner. Useful for all sorts of teacher/student/hobbie kinds of things.
2. A new digital camera. Good for tons of photos of my furry family. Photos to be posted soon.
3. A new monitor, at which point my list breaks and goes into narrative...

I got a new monitor because for some reason my old one wasn't showing any picture (well, and as far as technology goes, it was old and not very cool). After more exploration, I discovered that although everything had worked just a few hours before, my mouse, speakers, and keyboard were also not responding. After a long chat with Compaq, it turns out that, in techie-talk, my CPU is, um, broken. They don't know why, but of course, they suggest that I replace it with a new CPU, which I will have to do if I plan to have a desktop computer. But, I have to find someone to save my hard drive and transfer the info (all my pictures, grad school papers, lessons plans, etc.) into the new computer.

To keep me going in the meantime (and becuase I felt like it was a worthwhile investment) I bought a laptop, which is number four on the list if you're keeping track.

Besides that, I have a trip to (wait for it) Las Vegas coming up soon. Michael is going to a conference, and we decided it would be a fun weekend away. My Aunt Liz and her hubby Kevin live in Reno, so they're going to jump over and spend part of their weekend with us (Liz is flying out to another trip later on in the weekend, so they can only spend one night.) It sounds like we'll be having a great time, and I am very excited, especially since I've never been there before!

The week off has been going pretty well, although I still have a ton of stuff to do to finish "pulling myself together" before school starts again on Monday. The days off have just been flying by, and although I've been really tempted, I haven't been sleeping or watching TV the whole time, either!

Well, I have to go finish doing research for my class (I'm at the school library) so I will go for now.

Gimme a break!

In fact, they have! Mid-winter vacation starts at 2:40 today and we don't have to come back to school until Monday the 27. Yay!!!

Plans are still up in the air, which is fine, because it is ultimately my plan to have no plans. hahaha. There are things that I am hoping to accomplish, but mainly, just to be relaxed and recharged to tackle the next 4 months of grad school and teaching before we let out for the summer.

So, sorry to all you poor slobs who must teach where it's warm and get no break right now. I wish you patience and control until you are released for Spring Break, and ask you not to hate us Yankees, cuz we get Spring Break also.

With much love (and giddy laughter!)

Let it Snow!

Yesterday was the the culmination of the worst snowstorm NYC has seen since they started keeping records in 1869.

Michael has a Jeep.

We, unlike many, many others, had a blast!

First, we got up late (8:30) and bundled up and walked to our favorite diner, where we were the only customers for nearly 20 minutes. We had a long breakfast, then hiked back to the apartment, playing in the snow along the way.

Then, we got out the Jeep and went to his Dad's house and said hello.

Then, we went to Circuit City and Target, where we were, again, just about the only people in there! We looked at new (and bigger) TV's and coordinating sound systems and I checked out digital cameras and new printers. I have been waiting a long time for the money from my parents, and now that it's here, I am going to get a few (and I emphasize, just a few) items from my wish list.

At Target, I actually did buy a new printer. I got an all-in-one printer, scanner, copier, which I figured could come in handy in many, many ways, even if I don't stay in the public school system.

We had lunch at a nice place in the same shopping complex and then headed back to Michael's dad's, where I helped shoved snow for the first time ever! (Just a note, at first, it's really fun, but then, it gets very tiring.)

Finally, we had to head home and get ready for the next day, since, yes, we do, in fact, have to be a school today.

37 and 1/2

Today is the day the new teacher's contract stipulations begin. That means that we now have an "extended day" and will do "small group instruction" for an extra 37 and a half (love the half) minutes Mon-Thur from now on. I have a group of kids, and I know I'm scheduled to be in my own classroom, but besides that, I have NO idea what I am supposed to be doing with these children!

Sigh.

I admit it. I am tired of this job. I am here all the freaking time, and I still can't get everything done. I am irratible, frustrated, and my body is reminding me all the time! My face has gone back to developing acne cysts at random intervals, in random places. I am on medication, and doing the best I can, but it still isn't enough to keep them entirely suppressed. The next step may be something like Accutane. Fun. Between that and my acid reflux and my blood pressure (which I found out may be why I feel tired and have been getting headaches) I feel totally out of control. (My symptoms of acid reflux are not varied-I either A.-feel like I'm going to throw up most of the day, and especially so when I bend over, like when I feed my cats or pick a pencil off the floor of my classroom or B. -have a pressing pain in my chest, akin to a heart attack.)

I think the job is breaking me down. I am still undecided as to how to solve this problem. Do I:
A.-Quit teaching all together and find a job in another industry?
B.- Give this school another year with the "new" mandates from the state and hope it gets better?
C.- Try a different school where the students will be better? (I work in, literally, the worst school in the city, so at least I AM confident that anywhere else would be better.)
D. Get certified in a different subject (theatre) in addition to another option?
E.-Take the money from my mom and take off for six months or so to think?
F.-Get a Master's in either Publishing or Library Science before or while I make up my mind?


Please, please post a comment and let my know what you think! I need help, here!

Oh Happy Day!

It's Friday, it's Friday, it's Friday!

I have been needing this all week! Finally, I feel like I'm at a point where I can basically stop and (sorta) rest.

The final papers for the house closing are already notorized and just have to be put in the envelope.

The State toured our school for 4 long days and went home (as fast as they could) yesterday afternoon. They "concluded" a lot of things that we already knew:
-things (like phones and clocks) have to work
-the "workshop model" is frustrating for teachers and does not seem to be effective
-gang violence is prevalent in our school
-there is very little postitive parent involvement
-we're really trying, but the kids are resistant to being told what to do

Duh.

School started Tuesday, and I had a class Wednesday night also. In my research class, my former professor ran us ragged, so it actually turns out that I am ahead of the rest of the class in the new section I am in. What a relief!

Michael is back from several days in the hospital. He had a few more sights tested for skin cancer and had at least one lesion removed from his back. He came back yesterday and is doing very well. We went out to dinner last night and had a beautiful evening. It is very nice to have him at home again.

So, things appear to be on the up-and-up. I am looking forward to completing some more of my to-do list this evening, but self-congratulations are also in order for the 3 or 4 things that I have, in fact, already accomplished. Yay for me-on the road to organization!

My to-do list

is very organized. LOL.

I cannot say so much for my actual routines or habits. I guess I figured I'd start with a to-do list that is divided into categories: home, school, University (tricky that school is also work and school is also, well, school), errands and communications.

I went to the doctor Monday and found out that my BP is 120/80. I have looked this up online, and while several people have said, "Oh, that's fine," what I have found online is that it is actually "pre-hypertension." So, I am determined to start making changes, namely that I must pull my life together so I can stop stressing over small things, like not having clean socks or paper to print my assignments out on when I'm up at 2 am finishing a report or the actual fact that I would even be up at 2 am, which is especially important now that EVERY night is a "school night." (Did you enjoy the stream of consciousness there?)

So, now my to-do list is pristine. However, it also has, let's see, 30 items on it.

I guess I'll let you know how I do!