Rewind and try again

Okay, so I had great intentions with my back-to-back-to-back appointments. However, all they stayed were intentions.

Instead, we enrolled Celine in school in College Point at a beautiful Christian academy and then went and got her uniform ordered. I managed to reschedule 2 of the appointments for tomorrow, so no huge loss. I expect I can make the 3rd one up as soon as the holiday weekend is over.

I think I have finally, finally started feeling the nesting instinct. There is a ton of stuff to do still, but instead of feeling overwhelmed, I actually want to start doing it. In that respect, all of my decluttering may not happen before Jensen arrives, but hopefully at least the main living area, kitchen and bedroom will be done. I guess we'll see. We've decided not to go anywhere for the weekend so we can all work on projects...

More appointments

Tomorrow is an appointment-filled day. First, I take Hunter (Michael's Dad's kitty) to the vet in the morning.

For myself, I have a second nutritionist appt, a doctor's appt and a time to meet my labor and delivery doula.

In addition, Michael's family is here (staying at his Dad's) from San Antonio, so we've been visiting and going out to dinner quite a bit. It's lots of fun, but I get tired so fast now...

Lastly, just venting, the little girl singing and clapping all the time is driving me nutso. It was quite a relief when her aunt and uncle finally got past the "it's all right, she's just creative" stage and noticed that it was non-stop and actually started asking her to be quiet so that we didn't have to talk over her. Perhaps, at some point, she'll want to actually talk too, instead of just singing, but so far, it hasn't happened yet.

Rollin', rollin', rollin'

This kid will NOT stop rollin around! He is doin belly-flops in there, and making my tummy look all kinds of weird!

Today has been relatively productive, although I am struggling with major heartburn and a pretty good sized headache.

I emailed 2 doula agencies yesterday, and one of them promptly called me back this morning. On Friday, I'll meet one of the ladies in person, and if all seems well, we'll start discussing a contract. She'll come for 2 sessions before the birth to help me create a birth plan and talk about what to expect when the time comes.

We'll get another woman for post partum, who will come for 4 hours at a time for as many days as I'd like, although packages come in 4-day increments. She'll help in almost every way-depending on what I need and want, she'll help me learn to breastfeed, change diapers, recognize what's normal, as opposed to when I should worry or call the doctor, reduce my physical discomfort, give me a massage (!), do laundry, help with baby announcements, fix dinner, encourage Michael to be involved by explaining "new-mom/baby stuff" and telling him outright what he can be doing to make things easier and help with organizing the nursery. Wow-what more could you want? (I may want to keep her forever!!)

Tomorrow, I have more doctors appointments, one for a dermotogist to check out my strange skin rash that showed up on my arm (it's nearly gone, but I'm going to show her anyway, just in case it comes back.) And I have to go see a nutritionist for the the diabetic meal plan.

I am starting to get excited/anxious/nervous for the big day. I suppose I'd never feel really ready, but I still have SO much to do! So, on that note, I leave you to move onto another project!

Surprises

Can one of the best days ever also be one of the worst?

Today was so special. It was our last day of vacation Bible school, and all 3 of us had a great time. All week I got to be in a skit every morning and lead the closing worship service in the afternoon. Michael ran the games, and Celine got to be a camper. As a special treat, all of the volunteers were invited to lunch afterward.

Only for me, it was an extra-extra special treat. Some of the wonderful ladies working the VBS turned the staff lunch into a surprise baby shower! I was totally and completely shocked, to the point where when everyone yelled, "Surprise!" I didn't even get what was going on. We got some really beautiful gifts. Everyone was so generous, especially considering that we really haven't been at the church for all that long.

After church we had a regular doctor's appointment. The good news is that the baby is doing just fine...completely on track and has a strong, healthy heartbeat. The bad news is that my 3 hour blood glucose test results came in and I'm defintely diabetic due to the pregnancy. So, I have to go to a nutritionist either Monday or Tuesday, and after that, start self-monitoring 5 to 6 times a day. I am also now at the stage where I have to go into the doctor for checkups once a week.

Straight after the OB, we headed to the 3D/4D sonogram appointment. On the way there, we stopped to get some pizza. The 3D session was really fun and we got a few interesting pictures. Since I'm kinda far along, Jensen was a little bunched up, but it is possible to see his face and he even gave us a smile. We think he's got Michael's nose, but definitely my mouth. Wanna see? Go to http://www.my3d4dbaby.com and click on "My Baby's World" and enter my name in the search box, all in lower case, last name (with the space) then first name. When my name appears under the search box, click there, and my album will come up.

After we got the pictures, we headed home. It had been a long day!
However, that's not exactly where it ends...that pizza I had earlier? Well, it came back up. In the brand-new Jeep. All over me. In my brand new tote bag. And ultimately, several cute gift bags (with the gifts taken out first by Celine) were also sacrificed. Blahh. Horrific. And we still had to finish driving the 20 minutes home before I could do anything about it. Michael was given the chance to be a trooper, and definitely was. He helped me get all of my now soaked stuff out of my bag and undress in the laundry room so I could wash my clothes and bag right away. He also went straight upstairs and made me a just-right bubble bath. I got into bed for a little while afterwards, but am feeling much better now. (However, I am really hoping that it was just bad pizza, as opposed to morning sickness returning, as I've read that it can...)

Anyway, I hope ya'll go take a look at the pics and have a great weekend! I'll be answering the phone again as soon as I disinfect it....

Like a bee

Boy, are we busy!

Friday, I went for my 3 hour Blood Glucose Tolerance Test. The staff there was really good, and despite all of my doctor's insistence about being a "hard stick," both of the phlebotomists were able to get blood with just one stick per hour.

Saturday was meetings, meetings, meetings. First was a vacation Bible school meeting for our camp that starts tomorrow. Then, travel to Manhattan. Next, counseling in the morning, then a stop for lunch, then Celine's class from 2-3:30. Back to Queens, and shopping after that. Lots of walking, lots of talking.

It would have been nice to be able to sleep after that. Unfortunately my hip is continually feeling like it's being pulled out of joint, and that includes while I'm in bed. I woke up 4 or 5 times, trying desperately to be kinda sorta comfortable and not getting anywhere close. Finally, at around 2, I caved to the pain and went and took a Tylenol and a hot bath.

This morning contined the busy-ness. We went to church, followed up with our VBS director, had a quick lunch and went home and changed clothes, then met friends for a get-together.

Tomorrow starts VBS. Michael is leading games, and I am leading the closing gathering. Then, back to the house for chores and baby preparation. I am still feeling overwhelmed, but the things I've been doing the last 2 days are starting to show, and it is starting to inspire me to do more. The laundry UPstairs is almost done. Then I can move on to all the stuff that somehow got put downstairs in the living room. (I think that came from all of us attempting to unpack suitcases in the living room-I can't figure out why else 3 baskets of dirty laundry made their way into the room and stairwell...)

Oh, and I can't forget-thanks to Cat, who sent me the cutest hooded baby towel (ooh, turtles!) and a giftcard to Target (always appreciated!)

Finally, Janice, if you're reading this, I'll fax your rec papers tomorrow.

Too early

Argh. Pregnancy side effects have kicked in again. I had pizza last night, and I am just a girl who can't have pizza without some soda. Nevermind that soda is one of the main culprits for heartburn these days. Between the burning and the big tummy, the hip feeling dislocated and anxiety of not feeling ready for all this, I am up for the day. At 6 am. Six-A-M.

I guess on the good side of this, you could say that I am starting to be proactive. I am looking into hiring a doula. I have some choices-I could hire one just for the birth, just postpartum, or both. I have been doing research, and it seems fairly evident that deliveries with doulas take less time and less drugs to get through. And that seems like the better option, as I've just read (why wasn't I cluing into this before?) that any drugs I get to help me through delivery are passed onto the baby and may result in lower Apgar score and take up to 2 days to be fully expelled from his system. Not that I'm saying I would refuse drugs if I felt I needed them, of course. Obviously, those drugs were created to fill a need, and every woman has to make the best choice for herself. However, from this side of labor, I'd like to at least try and do it without.

If a doula comes after the baby, I could get her to come for 3-4 hours a day (that's the minimum rate I've found-hey, they gotta make sure they've got enough hours to make their money, right?) and reserve anywhere from 2 weeks on up. In that case, she would do a lot of the things that traditionally my mom would have taught me, like showing me how to bathe the baby, answer questions about breastfeeding, change diapers, and such. The added benefit here, besides the obvious, is that she'd also be there for me. If she saw a need, and she'd do her best to fill it, which, especially in the early days with a new baby, could include doing some laundry, fixing dinner, or watching the baby so I could take care of myself for a bit. Michael and I are talking about it still, but the idea looks really promising to me, and I have money set aside from my grandpa, so we could afford it without it taking a toll on the soon-to-be single income.

I've also been making anxious "we need" lists. I don't think any of them are complete, so I have several versions floating around the house. My due date is still about 2 months away, but I am starting to be afraid that he might decide to make an appearance early and I won't be ready. It has been a really difficult road for me to go from Michael first moving in, to us moving to his Dad's for a while (and still visiting the cats in Astoria), to moving to College Point, to immediately having Celine with us every weekend, to her being with us ALL THE TIME, to now, finally, expecting Jensen on top of everything.

Of course, those who know me know that housekeeping was always a struggle. I grew up with Mom being a hoarder, who would literally cry if I tried to throw out anything, even old newspapers. She was fabulous in a lot of ways, but she was never able to show me how to keep things neat or organized, and I never really got the hang of it on my own. Now, instead of my own stuff, I also have to corral cat supplies, and things and laundry that are Michael's, Celine's, and yes, already, Jensen's. Sometimes I feel deflated and resentful that I don't get any help. On the other hand, I feel the pressing fear that my baby will grow up the same way I did, and I don't want that for him. Unfortunately, most of the time, I am kind of crippled, and complain inside my head that I wouldn't ever be able find a place for everything, anyway, and that the few successes I have are quickly lost because the others in my house don't value that I need at least one clean spot maintained before I can move on. It seems like the junk and dirty dishes and laundry (everywhere, laundry!) just multiply before my eyes.

So, onto a "new" plan. Here it is. Are you ready? It's revolutional-I'm going to try really, really, really hard to actually get off my butt, for at least 15 minutes a day, and "go to work." I have approximately 8 weeks before Jensen is scheduled (hahhaa-although I'm smart enough to know he can come basically whenever he damn well pleases) so I'm going to focus on a room a week, which should put me at being clean and organized at least a week before he arrives to practice keeping it all together. We'll see. Since it's still quite early, especially for me, I guess I'll start a load of laundry....

Ai, yi, yi

It feels like Jensen is trying to come out of me through my belly button. I don't know how else to describe it! All day my tummy has been stretched to the max, and feels hard all over. (Usually there's a couple of hard spots and a few soft, squishy places and they change around through the course of the day.) Today has felt like I've been walking around with a bowling ball strapped to my front side. Argh.

For those of you who are interested in the timetable, I have 8 weeks and 5 days until my due date. Now, if only I could just lay around in bed and eat bon bons until then....