experiment

The school day is almost over, and I just got back from lunch with Michael. He seems determined to make up for whatever things I happened to be irritated with and has been going above and beyond to prove himself worthy.

On the table? An "official" test run of living together. Starting soon, but date still undetermined. We're going to try it for 2 weeks to see what happens. We really still hadn't hit the "real" parts of living together until just yesterday. Then, those words that really end the honeymoon were uttered...."Um, hon? We're out of toilet paper."

I've already warned him that if he's really there every night, I will, in fact, have to change cat litter in front of him, clip my toenails and take out trash. (All additional things that have not taken place in his presence in the last 3 months.) For whatever unexplainable reason, all he did was laugh and tell me he was looking forward to seeing me in action.

ready to go

Not that it's surprising, but I'm sick...again. Right now, knock on wood, it's just a hacking cough. It's been developing over the last couple of weeks, and it seems determined to escalate into something to knock me on my ass.

However, Michael is back to being a prince and has been taking extra-special care of me. Last night, we went out to dinner, then to the drugstore, where he got me three different remedies for my cough, then home to rest and relax. Except for a short trip out to take care of some estate stuff, we stayed at home and just chilled. It wasn't before long that I was out of it (blame wine and cold medicine) and climbed into bed fully clothed and fell asleep. Michael came in and got me situated in jammies and fixed the covers and the pillows and spent the whole night waking up with me every time I had a coughing fit.

Now I just have to get through today. I am so exhausted from hardly sleeping, but Michael has to be just as tired, yet he is already out-and-about, trying to make my day easier. (He just brought be breakfast and orange juice...) As soon as the 3 o'clock bell rings, I am jetting home and getting right into bed. I have a big weekend to get ready for, and need to sleep before facing Grandma for two whole days!

Hope everyone is well. I can't wait to come back to Texas for a while!

trouble in paradise

Things are kinda funny right now. I am starting to realize things about my relationship with Michael that I guess I had just glossed over before because I was so happy with all of the other aspects of us being together.

Most of these realizations add up to the fact that he is really, as they say, "up in my business." Many, many things that I say and do somehow, in some indirect way, end up getting related back to him. Example: I came into school the other day and my programmer (the guy who makes the schedules) took a few minutes to talk to me. This guy is great...he's really helped me out as a first year teacher, and I think the very least I can do is wish him "good morning." That particular day, he asked me what my summer plans were and we chatted for a bit before I headed upstairs. Later, Michael saw me, acting very concerned and wanted to know what happened. When I looked confused and said I didn't understand what he was asking about, he told me that he had noticed I had spent a longer amount of time than usual speaking to the programmer and wanted to know if he had been possibly hinted that he knew Michael and I were dating. Then, once I relieved his mind about that, he said that he was worried that I might have been getting in trouble (for what, I had no idea...which then worried me, thinking that he might have heard that I was- or should be- in trouble!) I've just been finding it strange that he is finding a way of making almost everything that he notices about my life relate back to him.

So, we had a talk and the more I talked, the more I realized that I was feeling a bit suffocated (especially after last Saturday, when I was sick, took a long nap and awoke to find that I had missed 9 calls from him!) In conclusion, we are taking a pseudo-break. I don't exactly know what else to call it. We're still going to see each other, but I have told him that I'm open to dating other people, with the acknowlegement that at the present moment it's not like there's anyone waiting on standby or anything. Besides that, we're going to limit the physical amount of time we're together, and I've given him a laundry list of things that he is not allowed to do or say. (Some things come naturally for him since he's a trainer, but having him ask me, just before I open a soda, "Do you know how many calories are in that?" makes me want to kill him!)

He is still going to come with me this weekend and meet my family, which I think is a good thing. Seeing how he is with them will accomplish a few things: first, I hope it will allieviate some pressure that he puts on himself about needing to take care of me because he thinks I don't have a family anymore, second, it'll give me a chance to see how he is when he's out of his own comfort zone, which is where he's been from the beginning of the relaionship, and finally, I'll get to see what kind of feeling my family gets from him, which will clarify for me what decisions I might need to make next.

Oy! In other, totally un-Michael related news (haha) I got my hair cut and colored yesterday. I am now reddish-blonde...kind of. I also started painting the walls of my bedroom (the paint store happened to be right next to the hair salon, so I figured, "why not?") and apparently the ELA test scores for my kids are back, so I am trying to chase down my assistant principal to find out, essentially, how the school is going to think I did teaching this year.

We are rapidly counting the days of school left to go, and I am looking forward to a bit of time without tons of screaming kiddos! (Amy, I am so jealous of you right now!)

Just 'cuz

Still at school...my little drama group went home about 45 minutes ago and I'm just hanging out in my classroom (instead of working) waiting for Michael to get off from work so we can go home.

Tonight is my first attempt since we've been going out to really be domestic and try to cook something. I have big plans for lemon chicken, glazed carrots and rice with almonds. Sounds simple enough, but when you're really, really not a culinary genius, it sounds a bit scary (I mean, there's fire and oil involved...there are frightening possibilities there!) Anyway, I am hoping for the best and will surely let you know how everything turns out. For later, I have a box of marble brownie mix (I know I can't mess that up, so at least something will definitely be edible.)

Besides that, I am just tired. My last final is tomorrow, and I have no desire to study or really even go. I am sick of learning about educational theories that don't stand a chance of working with the population I teach.

On the up side, my drama group has given in and, if everything works out, will be performing at the NYCTF Welcome Event at Lincoln Center. This may be the only time in their lives that they will be able to speak in front of a totally captive audience of nearly 2,000 and be on a stage at one of the world's most premire performance facilities.
They will be reading excerpts from essays written by students about what new teachers really need to know. (The suggested theme we are working within is "What a Good Teacher Means to Me," so we'll have to do a bit of editing, but it was easier to get them to write the essays the other way without sounding like I wanted them to suck up to me.)

Only 27 more days of junior high left to survive!

unofficially

The more we talk, the more it appears that Michael and I are living together...unofficially. He now refers to my place as "home" and is there more than half the week. Because of this, he now sees it as part of his responsibility to help me spruce up the apartment in whatever way I choose. I actually have a lot of art, but have not put it up, thinking that someday I would paint and therefore have to take it all down. However, I recently went on a shopping spree and got all of the necessary hardware to hang all of my pictures and later tonight we are going together to get the long-awaited paint for the bedroom.

It is really wonderful having him thinking of my home as his home.

Besides that, we're still figuring things out for later this month and into the summer. The current plan is still for him to meet the fam over Memorial Day (my grandmother is sooo excited!) and then possibly come to Texas with me in early July. July is still very much up in the air because he's been invited to do some contract work with a cruise line, and, um, yeah, if he gets to go on a free cruise and play in their fitness center all day, I want him to go and have a good time. But, if everything works out, he won't have to choose and will meet everyone and go on his boat ride. We'll just have to see. Everything is really busy right now. I'm very, very happy, but busy.

Only 2 more university classes to go for the semester...and my last paper is done. I just need to take my pesky education final. June will be a blissfully calm month, not having to go out to QC twice a week!

Hope everyone is well. Texas people, I miss you!

wrapping

Just a quick check-in.

First of all, happy birthday, Conner!!

With me, everything is fine; I've just been really busy finishing up the semester. I have another paper still due and two finals left to go, plus getting my 8th graders out of the building.

Last weekend was totally fun. My friend Laura came in from Seattle and hung out with me on Sunday. I got to meet her friend Suzan who moved here not too too long ago and then went out to have some fun. We saw Sweet Charity with Christina Applegate (thanks again, Laura) and had a yummy brunch at a little shop.

I am on my way home now to get ready for a Friday night. (Friday night is my standing date with Michael). So, I hope all is well with everyone!!

Coming out party

The last weekend of Spring Break was a blast! For me, the last weekend actually started on Thursday evening when I landed at La Guardia airport. Michael was waiting for me as close to the gate as you can get without having a boarding pass, and I don't know if I can even express how overjoyed I was to see him again.

I've always had a fascination for airports and all that they symbolically represent. Thursday my heart told me that if I ever have to travel alone again, Michael is the one that I want to be coming home to.

Friday he had to work, and I had a lot to do as well, so he took off with plans to see me again Saturday.

On Saturday, we went to Pier 40 and took a sunset cruise around the tip of Manhattan with drinks and dancing. He got the tickets through someone at school, so, not all that surprisingly, there were several co-workers there. I have yet to see how that might show up at school, but some of them were rather rowdy, and we all agreed that no one saw anyone else :)

Sunday was an organization day-I still have a lot of work to do, but all of my files are finally getting sorted! I talked to Conner nearly 3 hours last night and we were up until very early this morning (at least for people who have to get up as early as we do). It was a fantastic conversation- I miss talking to her on a more regular basis.

It's Monday again, and it's the first day back to school. I am actually anxious to see my kiddos again, however it is with the total understanding deep in my soul that there are only 6 or 7 weeks left to put up with them!

Besides that, today will be a planning day. The end of the month holds Mom's birthday in store, and the idea now is to go upstate and see the family for the long weekend. I'm still waiting for confirmation on a work schedule, but the plan is that it will also be Michael's first meeting with the family. Depending on the work schedule, in the next couple of weeks we are also intending to start Pilates reformer sessions and dance lessons to prepare for the Midsummer Night's Swing at Lincoln Center.

Contentment is bliss.