Nothin'

Hello, all.

I really have nothing to say...just a desire to feel like I have company today.

So, I'll tell you what my cuties and I did this weekend.
1.) knocked over a vase full of water and flowers. (I'm very glad the vase didn't break-it was my dad's retirement gift from IBM). However, the brand-new flowers don't seem to have revived, even after being rescued almost immediately and given new water. $10 wasted-sigh.

2.) They ran around like crazy, and I was scratched 3 times by one of them "pushing off" of me and digging into my skin to get a better liftoff.

3.) I watched the movie "Sky High" which I actually did think was pretty good. Of course, everybody knew he'd get powers before the end of the movie...

4.) Worked Saturday from 8:30-3:00. Then, it took an extra 20 minutes to get home because I was rerouted due to subway construction.

5.) Picked up my artwork of Japan. I'll post pics soon-everything was lovely. I just have to take one back to have the hanging wire put on the other way. (oops.)

6.) Went to bed late Saturday, but was awakened early by Michael's dad, who needed something from the drugstore. So, after a little arranging, I took the meds to him and spent a little while visiting with him before going back home.

7.) Slept through...I went to take a nap around 5 yesterday afternoon, to make up for my lack of sleep Saturday. I set my alarm to go off in an hour, but I guess I didn't hear it. I ended up waking up around 9 pm and then decided to sleep through so I could get up extra early and do some work at school.

Today I have a check-up at the doctor's, so I get to leave a little early. I am very excited. I am liking my job less and less and feel more and more stress.

Oh, and University classes start again tomorrow. Yay.

Uploaded

Hopefully, this will work as a link for everyone to see my boys!

I am so excited for ya'll to get to see what they look like!

Enjoy.

Soon

Here's the update...

I have a paper in my hand, right now, that I have to go home, fill out, have notorized, then send back to the lawyer.

The lawyer will then take it to a judge and have it signed, then take a copy to the title company next week and the closing will be back on track-without any need for Stephen to be informed of anything, much less be present.

So, things will take a bit longer, but the process is continuing.

However, I still wish it were later in the week. I can't believe it's only Tuesday. Sheesh.

Nice Night

Well, Friday night was definitely great. I picked up a package for Michael in Manhattan, which was fun for me, then headed home to find flowers on my doorstep!My very good friend Amy had sent them to me! They are beautiful white orchids and pink stargazer lillies. (The kitties have been very interested in them, but have only looked so far-could it be the spray bottle full of water I keep nearby? Perhaps.) After giving my pretty flowers a home in the living room, I went and showered and put on a nice black dress with pink accessories and shoes. (I am becoming a pink freak. I never woulda thunk it!)

When Michael got home around 6, he changed his clothes and then took me to the Rainbow Grill, which is a part of the awe-inspiring Rainbow Room (the Rainbow Room itself appeared to be closed for a private party). It was wonderful, with fabulous all-around views of Manhattan. The food was sumptuous, the waiters wear white tuxedos, and they even use one of those cool crumb-sweeper-thingies.

Afterward, I admit, we headed straight home. We had plans to go to Top of the Rock for drinks, but we talked too much during dinner and missed the last elevator up. While that would have been fun to do, we also had to work Saturday morning, and it's really hard to do the sixth straight day in a week with little sleep.

So, now we're back to the daily grind. It's already been a long week, and I'll tell you why...

The closing on the house was supposed to be yesterday. That's right, I said supposed. My sh*t-head brother went to sign the papers, and when he got there, all of a sudden decided that he wasn't going to sign anything. (Telling them that I'm so dumb, I should have priced the property higher, I'm trying to scam him and steal his money, etc., etc.) So, with the buyer, the buyer's agent, our agent, and the title company reps, he basically threw a hissy fit and walked out.

My lawyer is currently confirming that as the estate's administrator, I bear the responsibility for the deal and that if Stephen doesn't like it, too bad. I am simply so mortified that he did what he did. What an embarrassment! Anyway, the buyer is threatening to sue Stephen for breach of contract, and I say best of luck to him on it! Currently the Leander and Round Rock properties are all that's available as part of the estate, so if Stephen gets sued, we'll have to sell the RR house for him to get any money to mount a defense. Ha ha ha. He's really shot himself in the foot this time-all he had to do was sign and they would have handed him a check for "his half" of the Leander house! What an idiot.

Updates soon, I hope!

Timely revelation

A few days ago, in a drugstore, I had a revelation. I am going to be 29 verrrry soon. Naturally, I realized this in the middle of all of the stop-the-clock and don't-you-wanna-look-younger creams and serums. So, I left (with my wallet about $30 lighter and 2 tiny jars of get-the-age-away-cream...). Interestingly, I don't actually want to look younger. However, I think I am falling into the trap of hearing traditional judgemental voices in my head about what I should look like, where I'm supposed to be, and what I'm supposed to be doing.

It's actually kind of funny. I don't feel any pressure, but I do stop to wonder if it's strange that I'm not married yet, as most of my friends are, or if I should already have a child, like most of my friends do. But, at the moment, I think I really am exactly where I need to be, doing what I need to do. I learned a long, long time ago that God seems to know what he's doing, even when I don't understand or even want to go along with it. Since then, everything's been much less of a struggle. There's no reason to hold onto the past, or to rail against my current situation, because everything that has happened to me has culminated in a woman who is strong, yet senstitive, self-reliant, yet appreciative of help and ready to try almost anything yet still be appropriately cautious.

Getting closer to my birthday, I am realizing, perhaps for the first time, that I'm sincerely happy with myself.

Hanging by strings

Back at school. Ugh. So, so tired! I was rescheduled for the testing today and was accidently scheduled to work for 7 periods. (That's out of 8 total.) I am supposed to be off at least 2.

Michael and I are in the middle of a spat. He is still holding on to a ton of crap from other relationships and projecting it onto me. I am so tired of people who only choose to analyze the actions of others with no regard to their own. Every action is motivated by something, but it may or may not actually have anything to do with the particular person that gets an effect from it. Michael's mom was very sickly and was in and out of the hospital, but when she was well, she would also would take, um, "vacations" by herself for extended bouts. He would never know when he'd get home and there'd be a suitcase by the door.

He learned to cope with his fear of someone leaving by lashing out at them until they actually DID leave. Then he could say to himself, "See? Everyone leaves. It's just a matter of time. So I might as well help them along, so at least I know when it's coming." Well, now that things between us are still fine, but we're coming up on the one year mark, he has decided to start this strategy with me. We've talked about it, and he knows he's doing it, but he's having a hard time controlling his critical comments.

And, even though I know what he's doing, and that's it not the way he really thinks or feels, it's starting to get to me.

Why can't people just get over it?

Short days and long vacations

That's what so many people think those are benefits to being a teacher. Of course, most are intelligent enough to figure out it's not exactly so. Today, just for kicks, I actually timed myself doing some "teacherly tasks."

To cut tape and put up posters for my classroom
30 minutes

To rearrage the desks and push in the chairs
15 minutes

To pick up fallen poster off floor, retape and refasten to wall
2 minutes

To erase entire chalkboard
2 minutes

To write required "agenda" on chalkboard
4 minutes

HA, ha, ha!! It amazes me sometimes what my life has apparently become. I am thinking that the world of junior high may not be for me, at least not at this school. I am starting to feel negative in general and am realizing that I am not using very much of the thousands of hours I have spent preparing, reading, writing, learning and listening in order to teach these kids something.

It is starting to look like the state will probably come in next year and take us over. If that happens, I know I don't want to be here, so I will most likely start looking for a new placement over the summer, if I don't decide to simply take a year off to make some choices or start a new grad program. I'm thinking of moving to a high school, but which one, I don't know.

Besides the continuous questions about where my life should be headed, everything is fine. I am just looking forward to a nice 3-day weekend.

Better

Things are better today. Last night Michael finally opened his gifts, which made me very happy. (I got him really good stuff and had been anxious to see the look on his face when he received them!)

And, surprisingly, tomorrow is still an "us" day. We are now discussing weekend plans, seeing as how this one is 3 days. Possibly there will be one day set aside for some down time.

I guess that's it for now. I tried again to upload pics of the boys with no luck. I'll try again at the internet place when I get home.

Ta-Ta for Now!!

Grrrrrr...

I don't know what to say.

I am perturbed.

"Christmas" has been re-rescheduled. I am honestly not even sure that we agreed upon a new date. I really want it to be a full evening of "just us," but his work keeps getting in the way. He's had to take off for other reasons, like a tree going through the glass doors on his house and for a medical procedure, so I realize that more time off is a tough thing to ask for, but I am really starting to get tired.

He said he would take time off on Wednesday night, but that my "big gift" is still on a payment plan and that when he went intending to pick it up on Sunday, that he had a larger balance than originally thought and was not, in fact, able to retrieve it from the store. With no time off between now and Wednesday to change those cirumstances, he doesn't want to call it Christmas. He also refuses to open anything that I've bought him as of yet, even though he paid for my hair appointment, took me out to dinner, paid for me to see the Christmas Spectacular and bought me some other items while we were out and about that evening.

That is not how I imagined all this working out.

Sigh.

Merry Christmas!

Today is the rescheduled date for Christmas for me and Michael. All he will tell me is that "has plans" and he "can't wait."

I got my hair cut at Sparkles last night, which was very relaxing. I asked him to leave it long, just shape it up. It's different than what I'm used to, but I like it a lot, as does Michael. I go back on Friday for coloring, which currently is planned to come out with "buttery gold highlights and some darker strands put in for balance." Yeah, whatever, just make me look like a movie star, okay, buddy?

I am at school early and am planning to spend the next 25 minutes or so actually preparing for the day, so I need to stop typing soon. However, I am a procrastinator, and do not want to be here today.

Last night was the first night I'd seen my honey in 5 days, which was nearly unbearable! So, after the haircut, I met him at work and hung out with him for the last hour. Then, we went and saw his dad and gave him his Christmas gifts. After that, we finally got to catch up and have some time to ourselves (that is, if you don't count the 4 kitties, who all acted as though they had been completely neglected the moment Michael walked in.)

Okay, I'm really going to work now...(or maybe I'll check my email instead.)

Holiday Stretch

Well, we're back at school, but the holidays are not quite over.

Amy spent last week with me until Thursday. We saw some Memiors of a Geisha, which was beautiful, and The Family Stone, which was more poignant than I had expected. Michael then joined up with us and we went to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, which was, of course, amazing. Later on, Micheal and I got our picture taken on the setup they provide with a real sleigh and fake presents with a backdrop of Radio City. From there, we went to see the Rockefeller Center tree and got to witness a marriage proposal (no, not ours).
After that, we went to dinner.

Spliced in between all that was 3 days of work, which was actually pretty fun. We got to put on a small play as part of the curriculum, and even though it was only in the classroom, we all had a pretty good time and they begged me to find something else for them to perform for next week. We'll see what I can do.

After finishing up work, I waited around for deliveries most of the day Friday. My beautiful new shelving from West Elm and my silk down blanket from Restoration Hardware finally arrived around 7 pm.

Saturday morning I said bye to the kitties and hopped a train upstate. I got to see everybody and had Christmas twice over (once at Dad's side, once at Mom's side.) It was wonderful, but too short a time. I had to come back yesterday afternoon to prepare to come back to work.

Upon my return yesterday afternoon, I saw that I have several New Year's resolutions to be made (becoming a better housekeeper would be one) and also that my kitties had been very busy. They broke a glass off the kitchen counter and pulled one of my shirts out of the laundry and "buried" it in their water bowl. After cleaning that up, I went to lay down with a bad headache. Apparently my body was tired, because I ended up "sleeping through" and only got up around 1:30 when the kids told me they were hungry. Anyway, being back at work is not what I want to be doing today, but here it is....

Tomorrow I have an appointment to get my hair done at a chic-chic salon (a very thoughtful gift from Micheal-he even had to track down my friend to get the name!) and then on Thursday, we're going to have our own official Christmas and go see his Dad and take him out to dinner and give him his gifts.

Looking forward to the rest of my holiday!